After yesterday’s session, I woke up at night, I couldn’t go back to sleep and I continued the confrontation we were dealing during the day within the group.
The following words came as key: faith, unconditional love (male/female love).
I felt the faith couldn’t be entirely proper inside of me, until I can’t accept, forgive and let men go. And I felt the same with love.
When I opened the magenta, blocked feelings came up; these covered the power of my faith during the years. After confrontation myself and transform with alchemy I became the faith itself.
I remembered a story that happened in my childhood in Máriabesnyő. I went home, it was dark. I would have had to go through a tunnel under a train tracks to get home.
A man from Máriabesnyő came with a squeaking bike; he was the man who often appeared at my window as a voyeur. I was really scared. I was afraid of going through the tunnel.
I was afraid of being raped. I thought I’d walk away on the other side of the embankment, but there was a huge white dog. I was afraid terrible, how I could get home. I climbed up to the embankment, I headed home on the rails, and I was frozen in fear.
Just came to my mind now: do you know what direction the rails lead? It leads towards the Church of the Assumption in Máriabesnyő. I understood the real meaning of the symbols now, what the dog, the man, and the rail wanted to show me. Thanks for everything!!!!!!!!
