I don’t normally write to you, because I feel that I am doing well and making progress, and the personal consultations and the group sessions are there in case we are stuck. I would like to thank you, because I think You and this Method is the final destination, amongs many of my attempts to find Myself. I meditate and release my blocks 2-3 times a week.
I would like to share my experience with you from last night when I listened to „What is the underlying cause of sexual problems?”. I didn’t really have issues on this front so I didn’t know what was going to happen.
I have managed to go deep when meditating alone many times before. With this meditation I had such physical symptoms that really surprised me. I had sore throat, tinnitus, I felt that I was going to burst into flames and explode.
In the deep conscious level something opened up from a previous life that when I had lost someone I loved I had shut my heart so I would not have to feel that pain ever again. In the meditation I sensed that in the following life after that one I had been born a man and I could not awaken my true-self for a very very long time, therefore I had become tougher and tougher. During meditation my physical symptoms resembled the pain that had been imprinted in me, and I realised only now why people often say that I am „tough”. I thought that I was living my life as a woman, but I only operate and circulate the imprints of these male energies. Because in past lives this toughness had coupled with the pain of loss, I finally realised that because I have been using male energies, I could not find my partner with whom I could start a family. Then and there I understood everything.
Motherhood is important to me and I would like to become a mother some day but not at all costs. I am very lucky for having a lot of close friends whom I love very much, but what I feel for children is a type of love I cannot compare to any their feeling or emotion. In this meditation I had the opportunity to hold myself as an infant in my own arms and to fill my own womb with Light, was an indescribably wonderful feeling. I don’t think I was ever able to look at myself in the mirror with such calmness and love towards myself than then, in the meditation. Then I could feel what it meant to be a real WOMAN and what a huge blessing this is that I was born a woman in this lifetime. After all, this is how I have the opportunity to give life to my own child one day.
