Mercy

Mercy

STORIES

Mercy

To be honest I was also surprised how smoothly my first day was in the New Year. I was flowing. I had never felt such a harmony on 1st of January before. This is even more interesting as the last day of the previous year was completely the opposite.
I was very nervous and tense, and I didn’t feel happy or good and this mood increasingly disturbed me. I didn’t understand as there wasn’t any reason of it.

Since I met Divine Self-Awareness I look differently my current feelings and events what happens to me. I know more and more about the law of energies and I can see and experience day by day how they work. I was aware of the fact it is better for me if I came out from this negative feeling, and I need to do this not only because I did like better the harmony, peace and tranquility, but because if I stayed on this low vibration level, I would attract events what I could avoid. It happened so many times to me in the past month, so I wouldn’t be warned further. I decided the best to do: raising my vibration level and meditate.

As soon as I started the meditation some feelings intensified very much such as: pain, suffering, fear and dread. Old memories relating to my dead mom came to the surface from very deep. There was a time in my life when it wasn’t easy to me with her for many years. With her behavior she didn’t give me any calm minute and kept me continuously in tension, I was mortified emotionally. She amused me like a cat with a mouse. In meditation I saw the picture in front of me: I tried to escape as a mouse but she tried to catch me, didn’t let me go. I tried to escape again and again but there was no escape, she played with me hard. She was calm, rigid and brutal, her strength was not slackening. My fight is hopeless. I feel I never let her go. At this time I turn to her with hope and I look at in her eyes and I was begging her: Mommy, please have mercy on me! Mercy, please… Mommy please. I wanted to continue the meditation to see what  the end of this game was, but no more picture, no more feeling came. I was said and I felt helpless. I wanted but I couldn’t come out of it. I felt if I didn’t solve it, my soul would be hurt and I would feel badly even in my body. “I needed to suffer again” and it was very bad for my soul. Once my Ego’s power of wanting just gone, ego gave up its will to control, the continuous suffering ended, he gave up destroying everything around me and he gave up hurting myself again and again to feel the pain. My ego got tired and I was also tired… I gave up wanting, I let everything go, I didn’t want anything. I put my soul on the gold tray and passed to my Higher Self. Let’s happen what should have been happen: “Thy will be done”

I was waiting in calm, in peace. I asked my Higher Self to send me any sign why it happened to me. After it I just took a rest and came back and continued my day.

Evening – following my feeling – I watched “The Shack” movie. I spend the New Year’s Eve at home in peace and calm than I went to bed.

The sign what I asked during the day in meditation on deep conscious level – I got asleep. It was a wonderful dream; it left very deep emotional mark in me.  I still feel that emotion here in my soul. In my sleep I saw my Mom but in a completely different quality as I know her in my life. She was around 50 years old, elegant, strong and healthy. We cleaned the house in harmony and peace, her room which was crowded previously full with unnecessary staff, now it was transparent, clean, and clear and ordered. There wasn’t any unnecessary thing in it. At that time I noticed two large, framed photos I hadn’t seen before. I couldn’t realized exactly who and how many people were on the picture but I had the feeling they were my family. It was interesting that they reflected on their faces happiness, joy, respect and loving of the life but it was completely different as I had known them before. It was a pleasant, warm feeling when I looked the photo. Suddenly it came to my mind this photo was taken by my Mom. I felt the softness of her soul, and I felt the reason why she took the photo. Her aim was to keep the photo for me forever and remember me of the power and feeling of saint family. I went to her and said thank you for the wonderful memory. I was very grateful for it. I hugged her and asked for pardon. Peace, love flowed between us. My Mom was very nice, understanding and conforming. She never showed me this kindness in her life. In the sleep I grabbed her hands, which were very calm and soft. It seemed very real and still I can feel the touch of her skin.

I was waking up in peace, harmony on the first morning of 2019. I still keep the message from my mother in my soul and feel the mercy which was never given to me when she was alive, but she could compensate it from beyond.

My dear Higher-Self, great mercy for the sign, you gave me and for the mercy which filled my total body.

B.

The education of the Divine Self-Awareness has been started in Hungarian language,

if you are interested in English and would like to know more information about it,

please contact Andrea Gilian on the following phone number: +36- 30-183-2391.

Pardoned myself

Pardoned myself

STORIES

Pardoned myself

Enikő has a lot youtube lectures and meditations, among these my favorite is the Consciousness. (My second favorite is: the Release of sexual blocks.)

If I do not have any special topic, but I know I need to do self-awareness, to get out of my shadow characteristics, and transfer them to new creative power I always listen to this lecture. Thanks to the releases I faced many of my shadow personalities unconsciously also. In this case I just let the sound-recording to go and I let myself to be driven by my Higher-Self and show me pictures and feel the real feelings opened in my Wild-Self.
On higher vibration level the intuition tells me – even if I do not have special topic – what those shadow characteristics I need to work with by my Higher-Self on that moment.

 “Mercy” – I needed almost one year to feel what this word really means what the energy of it and what is behind of it.

One year ago Boglárka asked me: “Do you mercy yourself sometimes?”

 “Meeee? I even don’t know what it is” – I replied.

Have mercy on you sometimes – asked me but I didn’t understand what she was talking about it.

Thinking back to the years behind me I really haven’t known what mercy meant. My mind always was very busy. If I wasn’t thinking about something I scarified my body in different way: professional level of sport (result of it: arthritis, steady tiredness), diet (with zero result) and also I was maximalist to fulfill other’s requirements. I needed to be busy all the time no matter what I did I just did something. If there wasn’t anything to do, nothing to think my life was stopped and I was bored – I couldn’t find my place. I don’t know what the reason of it was or even it was good for something but that was how I lived.

One day in the morning I listened the meditation “Consciousness” and my Higher-Self worked on the real meaning of MERCY.

I saw myself as slave hunter acted crazy: I found the runaway slaves and after cruel torture I burned black men at the stake to show my power. I enjoyed their suffering and their death. The root cause of this horror was a man: I was very young lady when I felt in love but my lover left me , so in my sorrow I followed the pattern of my father and started to hunt slaves. I was brutal with them to reduce my heart-pain. I was satisfied and happy when I saw how they suffer. (Now I can see this happened in my current life as well: after love failure I followed my father’s profession. But this time I realized and I changed  afterwards. To be honest it wasn’t conscious decision.)

On deep conscious level by raising my vibration level I stepped back to my previous life and there I connected my young self with the golden string of unconditional love and with redeemed energy of Earth, the magenta. I did the same with the man who left me in that life. I didn’t look at the real root cause of our break, I just let the energy of unconditional love go around us.
Our story ended the same: he left but on the three aspect of universal love: I could forgive him, I could let him go and I could accept his decision. As I didn’t dig myself at the bottom of the root cause I felt sorrow in my heart, but it wasn’t mortal, destructive, vindictive pain. After couple of years when my lovesickness had gone, I met my later husband. We had a very nice life. Though slaves were around us, there wasn’t any cruelty with them!
What I got as life essential from my previous life, it was the enormous power of tenderness in unconditional love what I felt finally!!
I could mercy myself and others from this warm but huge power.

The education of the Divine Self-Awareness has been started in Hungarian language,

if you are interested in English and would like to know more information about it,

please contact Andrea Gilian on the following phone number: +36- 30-183-2391.

Without happiness

Without happiness

STORIES

Without happiness

Since I participated on the Divine Self-Awareness training my relationship with my parents became peacefull and it is full of harmony. Almost a year ago I left my husband and I live with my children in my parents’ house, but meanwhile I try to find our new home. I would like to have a separate home or flat for living only with my children.
Recently I was joyless even if it was hard to admit to myself. I was told myself I woud be happy if I have a new flat but I realized the reason of my unhappiness was not around my own flat. I imagined the desired nice home what I wanted but I felt without my family it was just a flat and I knew I needed home. My family had broken because of me.
Is there any meaning of the life if we don’t love ones we could love originally? And who could be best loved: our parents, our partners, our children… and finally everybody.
I thought about what I’m happy about. And what am I feeling and doing compare to it? What is my goal, my purpose? What do I expect from life? I do expect holiness in every moment of my life, by the way I make it and create it! Reaching it: I need to confrontate my shadows, also I need to transform my shadowcharacteristics as these are the obsticles of living in real joy and happiness.

The education of the Divine Self-Awareness has been started in Hungarian language,

if you are interested in English and would like to know more information about it,

please contact Andrea Gilian on the following phone number: +36- 30-183-2391.

Feeling the Wholeness

Feeling the Wholeness

STORIES

Feeling the Wholeness

I asked my Higher Self to show me the meaning of the dove’s tu-whoo what reminds me of my childhood?

I was driven by my Higher Self on a long way back to the past, back to one of my previous life. I came to the Earth, to the phisycal world in the form of Light Being to increase the vibration level of the people to reach a higher intelligence. As I had difficulties with money, I lost my faith, I forgot that I can raise the vibration level of the people with my light to help them to reach a higher level of consciousness. The will and influence started to work inside of me. I forgot the promise I made at conception: „Just give and flow with unconditional love.” I looked at my will, my influencing shadow-personality in my previous life. I put the new energy transformed by the alchemy of the soul in my wild-self, so I was able to feel again the Wholeness. I let this feeling flow in all cells of my body, in every receptor of my brain, in all vibration level of my soul and in all dimensions of my spirit. I arrived back among people with the quality of high vibration energy that I put in my wild-self like previously. I asked my Higher Self to help me doing well in the material world and to leave the free choice to the people.  I felt the light coming to my body through the top of my head. I felt the blocks in the receptors of my brain. I asked my Higher Self to release my blocks as the light passed through my body. As the light went down I felt my liver, I felt bitternes and vanity in it. Meanwhile the light released the blocks and my shadows inside of me. The light covered my body til my toe. I felt the faith and wholeness, there wasn’t will inside of me at all, only the light: „just give, flow, collect experiences, let the free will to everybody”. This is the way how everybody can go on the spiral if he wants to. I asked my Higher Self to help me keep going on my way, and give me tools with I can influence my enviroment through the „status of wholeness”.

The education of the Divine Self-Awareness has been started in Hungarian language,

if you are interested in English and would like to know more information about it,

please contact Andrea Gilian on the following phone number: +36- 30-183-2391.

Lost diamonds

Lost diamonds

STORIES

Lost diamonds

I would like to share with you a story about one of my best friend. I will call him Jacint.  After Jacint read a book she started to observe her life, search the root causes of her life situations on conscious level.  She started self-awareness. When we met first I had built huge walls around me, I wasn’t open to people, I barely left my home. Jacint told stories about herself, about her recognitions about the way how she saw the life. Despite my will I listened to her and I realized later that I felt better all the time after our conversations. She showed me how to look the bright side of the life.  Finally I started the Divine Self-Awareness training with her faith, love and support. The walls started to fall down at this time.  Our shadow-personalities were recognized and let go by the soul of alchemy day by day, week by week and month by month.
Jacint’s ego resisted stronger and stronger as she recognized her shadow-personalities and her games. Her ego built a gate to stop her in self-awareness. She tried to solve her problems with different solutions.
I was going on my way with the method of Divine Self-Awareness. I told my stories to Jacint, I shared my deep feelings with her, she could see my changes and she also could enjoy all my developments and joys with a pure heart. She loved when I cried; she loved it if I laughed. She loved if she could strengthen the faith in me.  She asked me not to be influenced by her, by not taking the way of self-awareness. She always was thankful for the trust when I shared my meditations with her. She refused to use the energy which comes from connection the golden string and magenta in our Wild-Self. She solved her life situations and problems with other way, as she did in the past.
Time passed. She had a new role and she felt something went wrong, she had headache, she didn’t feel good. I asked her to look at the root cause of this in meditation. Her Ego even didn’t want to hear about the golden- magenta method. After months her Higher-Self helped her. She followed her feeling: finally she did a meditation listening you tube and her real way was shown to her in pictures, in feelings by her Higher-Self. I was very happy about it.
I supported her with my unconditional love, with my faith and with the feeling came from my meditations. We talked a lot what helped our self-development mutually. We didn’t play any energy game; we didn’t want to solve each other’s problem. During our conversations our vibration levels were raised and we charged each other with energy.
I already knew that real solutions can be reached only by my Higher-Self on deep consciousness.
I am blessed, grateful and thankful for the moment when Jacint’s Higher-Self opened the golden-magenta for her and her shadow-personalities were transformed to light and faith by alchemy of the soul. She was surprised the way how she could put down the sorrow of the past, and the new energy passed through her body as a result of facing Ego treated by alchemy of the soul. Next days I shared with her my meditations which were about the topics of “Blessing” and “Sanctity of life”. One day later she got the message of “Penance” in her meditation. I realized through her feelings how much I hurt everyone who loved and love me. I also felt how much disappointment I caused them.  Thanks to her I could experience in meditation the real feeling of “Penance” with the method of Divine Self-Awareness. Deep down in my Soul I felt there wasn’t any subordination, we are all one and we can experience true feelings in meditation. If we believe in ourselves and in each other with unconditional love, we could find the lost diamonds.
B.

The education of the Divine Self-Awareness has been started in Hungarian language,

if you are interested in English and would like to know more information about it,

please contact Andrea Gilian on the following phone number: +36- 30-183-2391.

Role of my pusillanimity

Role of my pusillanimity

STORIES

Identification of the role of my pusillanimity

I had to realize my life became heartless recently. I did everything without patient, quickly like a robot, without any empathy, everything was indicated by me ego. This was hardly tolerated by my environment. Objects were felt down out of my hands, I broke everything and it showed I actually acted without any emotion.
I decided I search the root cause of it in meditation to see the way I got here.
During the years I have already paid attention to myself to analyze my life situations from the past, as in my childhood I was humiliated by my parents a lot.

I was 1.5 years younger than my sister. We done everything together all the time, but I felt I was living as her shadow. We were differentiated by our parents since we started the school. My sister was the very clever one, she was worth for being educated, trained. She needed to fulfill high expectations. I felt there was something wrong with me as I wasn’t highly educated; I just needed to finish the obligatory schools. My parents put emphasize and told me I didn’t need to go to University just enough to finish the school with average mark. They were called me dumb.

My defeatism increased when we stepped into the age, when the boys began to take interest in us. All boys are adored her, so my defeatism even more increased. The boys were interested in me but by then I formed such a distorted picture about myself that I thought there could be a big problem with these guys if they wanted to get to know me.

In order to survive my parent’s judgments and hurtful remarks, I closed my feeling and became senseless. This was my ego’s survival program. Of course I had no idea about it and I just swam comfortable with tide. As the years passed I felt something wrong with me, inside of me, I felt I burnt out. This is how I found the Divine Self-Awareness.

Finally I got to recognize the lack of my sense, my soulless. I raised my vibration level with the method of Divine Self-Awareness and I asked my Higher Self to show me the root cause of my soulless. On high vibration level I could see that my conception was with the energy of strong eroticism, so naturally I brought it in myself this energy as a footprint. I had the chance several times during meditations to see, feel the eroticism brought from my previous lives.  Also it was clear to me that I can’t experience any more with this erotic energy in this life, now I do have the possibility to transform it to creative, divine power, transform to spiritual ability. I recognized I needed life situations made me inhibitory to avoid possible sexual deviation. So I understood my parents cruel-looking behavior, it served me to keep the light inside of me closed via shyness and pusillanimity. If I hadn’t close my light with the pusillanimity and soulless program of the ego, I would collected my experiences with lust energy, would causes complete burnt out and I couldn’t use my talent given by God.

I realized that my sister also served the same aim as my parents: protect my light with pusillanimity. Thanks to this last puzzle piece I understood the behavior of my family.  I’m grateful for all of them and for all the life situations created by them in order not to loose my light until today. Thanks for it I can live with my talent and I can be who I’m in truth.

Many thanks for all participants!
V.

The education of the Divine Self-Awareness has been started in Hungarian language,

if you are interested in English and would like to know more information about it,

please contact Andrea Gilian on the following phone number: +36- 30-183-2391.